drunk again...
It´s almost 11 at night here in Madrid... I´m on like my second tall can... If I don´t move here to Spain for the women then it will be the beer...
Beer here is the ísh... the weakest beer is like 5 percent... stuff gets you f´d up.
Oh well... gotta go n´drink my beer n´stuff... gonna go out and party in an hour or so... we go out and party late at night her.
¨holla at a playa when you see him on the street¨
norm
|
|
I came, I saw, I drank beer...
Feels like it's been a long week, and it's not even over yet...
Norm is in spain, if I had to take a guess at what he is doing right now, I would bet either drinking, or trading huge amounts of Euro's for intenet access... Either way
God's Spee Norm, see you when you get back... And if you are in Europe, and see anything you think I would like, ask her dad, then bring her home with you...
Lessons I learned while moving a refridgerator:
when placed verticle, if not restrained a fridge will fall out of a moving pick-up truck.
when removing the fridge from the truck it is not a good idea to have people stand on the ground while you push the fridge out of the truck on to them.
Double doors, but not single doors are wide enough to fit a fridge through them.
Two 20 something guys should never move a fridge on their own, unless they own it.
it is not impossible to slide a fridge over a pool table using only a puerto rican to protect both pool table and fridge
a fridge that has fallen out of a pick up truck, and subsequently leans slightly to the left, may not fit in your kitchen.
News :
i´m a peein...
i made it 2 madrid ok... ive already got a beer... d$ is drinkin it... she said what up
gotta go find my place n take a shower
"holla at a playa when u see himon the street"
norm
up in the ATL...
Welcome to Atlanta where the Playas' Play...
I'm payin $4.00 for 10 mins of dial up internet access... what a deal... I'd better get a lap dance with that.
Told you I'd keep in touch... but then again I haven't even had a drink yet...
I'll get back on when I get to Madrid... I should be getting there about midnight Chino time... 6:30 left to go
"holla at a playa when you see him on the street"
norm
alas poor Norm, I knew him well...
Tomoorow Norm leaves for Europe.... he will be gone for nearly 3 weeks, he swears he's gonna be online, and posting, but I know we're all gonna miss him... So in his honor, we are doing,
the top 10 reasons Norm will/wont get laid in Europehere you go....
The top 10 reasons Norm Will/Wont get laid in Europe
10. Norm is American, in Europe they are like "ufck americans"
9. Norm is HUGE in Japan
8. In America, fat chicks love Norm
7. He is traveling alone with two attractive girls, who are very angry drunks...
6. Europeans aren't picky about personal sanitation
5. because norm is traveling with two attractive girls, he can pretend he is gay, and he needs a frenchy to turn him straight again
4. This is what norm looks like once you have been drinking German beer
3. This is what Norm looks like when you have been drinking absinthe
2. It's pretty easy to pull a "stranger" when you've been riding on trains, and sleeping in hostiles
and the number one reson Norm Will/Wont get laid in Europe.
1. he is already a member of the mile high club, solo fliers division.
Well Norm , here's some stuff so you dont get homesickNormal Stuff: y txt msgs harm ur I.Q.
How to make fire with a soda Can and a Chocolate bar
is this really that big of a problem ?!?!
How come if you look up "I heart America", a Canadian flag is the first thing google finds ?!?!?
last thing
~grey
wounded, need more salt...
Man!... I hit a nerve yesterday with the posts about reforming the school system...
most poeple just want me to shut up, and not write so much...
other people COMPLETELY disagree with my point of view... Either way... it's my web site, and my opinion will be expressed... really sorry if you dont like it, but you too can go on
blogger, and write up blog about how much I suck...
Todays Rant - Republicans / ethics
Today I shall pick on the republicans for a lil bit.
I have never been a registered voter, but for most of my adult life I would call myself more republican than anything else... Sadly recently this has changed as I see, less and less logic associated with the party... Still I love these guys, they are BY FAR the more entertaining party which is good enough for me. Some of the stuff they get away with baffles me... Recently, and more specifically the house ethics battle. You can read the house ethics rules here, but dont do that, I did it, and it was damn near the most borring thing I have ever done...
summary
As I understand it, Tom Delay was being a politician, doing corrupt politician things, and when democrats decided to investigate, republicans went and changed the rules... ( it gets better ). After doing this, democrats were understandibly mad, by the unethical acts of the ethics comittee, and have thus far refused to participate... In a feable attempt at damage control, the republicans say they will investigate Delay, but they dont wanna change the rules back. After all that the republicans are saying the democrats are holding up the ethics comittee... Thats great!!! where do they come up with these ideas..???
Less Serious StuffBad Jokes -
A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. THe employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.
more bad jokes here
the pope gets an e-mail address
apparently you can get teachers fired, if they get students drunk and ask them to bare their breasts
Scientist discover why some popcorn kernels don't pop... still nocure for cancer...
Grey out...
Mooooooooooooooooooo...
This bull got TASERED da f' out... he doesn't look too happy
--I don't know what to say but... who
want's to sex mutombo?
--Here's something you don't see everyday... man
shoots himself while vacuming
--Hey Sir. Mick... stop tryin' to c0ck block...let yer daughter pose for Playboy
--Family Guy... one of my favorite shows is getting ready to go back on the air... and now all I need are my DVD's that I let a former friend borrow and he never gave back after repeated requests... he's got some of both of my seasons... crap I need to get on E-Bay
"i'm out"
norm
here's yer hound...
-- How could I forget to give a huge shout out to
my bro JD Roth... it's his birthday... and he used to host
Fun House-- Spaceballs...
the cartoon--
3 Fast, 3 Furious--
Whatever happened to Corey Haim... uh... never mind
-- Crappy name... but I'm lovin'
Ivanka... pic on the right
-- I gotta keep you updated with the
Ron Mexico news... Ron Mexico
name generator... I can either be Rod Barbuda or Rob New Zealand
-- A blog dedicated to
aerial Google Map imagesI'm not even gonna say anything... until next post about the Pope
Last but not least... it is 420... April 20, 2005 and I'd like to say Happy Anniversary to my parents... they're somewhere in South or Central America by now on there cruise... hope you guys have another 32 years of happinessI'll give you my picks for the Pride GP tomorrow
"i'm out"
norm
one sided - school reform
WARNING: lots of text, not much funny stuff ahead...
School ReformI hate to admitt it, but Arnold is right about the school reform thing, and the teachers union doesn't really have a leg to stand on.
It wasn't too long ago I was sitting around thinking, "are we really gonna kick out Gray Davis, and elect the terminator?!?!", and sure enough it happend. I dont have any personal problems with Arnold, and to be honest I think he has been doing a pretty good job at being governor. After all he is not the uber politically correct politician, he gives people a kick in the ass, and I like that. Calling people "girly men" etc, sometimes, when things become too political, you gotta do stuff like that...
All of that being said, I also think arnold has broken many of the promisses he made before he was elected, but I cant say anyone should be surprized, I mean, thats damn near the definition of politician.
I should also mention, that while I hate the school system, I have allot of respect for
most teachers, their dedication, and the job they do, I think ultimately, the problems are out of their hands, and they are doing what is smart, watching out for their own intrests.
Which brings me full circle to School reform... I can say with God as my witness that I think the school system in california needs to be reformed more than anything else. For as long as I could remember I have thought the school system was not just messed up, but completely broken. Think of it like a car, if the california school system was a car, the insurrance company would have totaled it a long long long time ago. It simply can not be repaired, with little fixes, maintainance and bondo.
Becasue this is my opinion I realize I might be somewhat parcial to
any changes that might happen in the school system, be them good or bad... So with that in mind, I tried playing devils advocate, and tried to prove to myself, that lengthening the tenure time, and giving teachers merit increases based on student preformance is a bad idea...
Try as I might I could not prove this to be true, ( or even get myself to think their were some strong arguments in their favor ), and if anything, I am more certain, that Arnold is on the right track, and I have no idea how the teachers union is justifing their argument.
lets take it point by point.
( note information taken from http://www.cta.org/News/2005/20050325_1.htm california teachers association web site.)first, there are two MAJOR sticking points I want to explore when it comes to whole school reform thing.
1. Techers merit increases, and why/when/how they should get them
2. Teachers tenure, removing bad teachers.
Teachers Merit increasesArnold thinks teachers pay should be tied to their students preformance. The teachers union thinks it should be based on the amount of time you work some where. To me, a cracked out monkey could tell you which is the more logical way to go... but since I am playing devils advocate, lets look at the arguments for the teachers.
teachers say if merit increases are tied to student preformance, the following things will happen:
Teachers will encourage students to cheat, so they can make more money.
Teacher will give easier test, and grade more flexibly.
Student preformance wont accurately reflect teachers efforts.
While all of these are very plausible, I think there are very simple, almost obvious meassures that could be taken to prevent all of them, except the last one. Lets take them one at a time.
Teachers will encourage students to cheat, so they can make more money. Just the fact that this argument is comming from the teachers union, is making me wonder about the ethics of your average teacher. But that is besides the point. Teachers who encouraged cheating would ultimatley be rooted out by unhappy parents, and students... remember there is a lil asian girl in every class who has to get straight A's, and she will get pissed if little Johnny retarded is pulling the same GPA as her. Aside from that, every single student in the school system today cheats anyway... ( yes everyone, even you too, some more than others, but everyone ) and that is without teacher incouragement, I dont really think you are gonna get a much higher number than 100% of students cheating, which is what we have right now.
Teacher will give easier test, and grade more flexibly.
This is also highly plausible, so how about making ciriculum standard accross grade levels, and have one teacher grade another teachers papers. This would serve California well in two ways, one it would be a teacher self monitoring program, if one teachers work was too easy for students, or if too many students were receiving 100% on tests, other teachers would be very willing to point this out, if they thought someone was gonna get a pay raise over them. Also I tend to think it would give teachers a larger information pool to teach form if they saw how other teachers assigned, and graded work. This encourages sharing, co-operation, and free thinking, all foundational lessons of school.
Student preformance wont accurately reflect teachers efforts.
While I strongly beleive that this is true, I think you have to assume it is false. I mean, if students grades to not reflect the teachers efforts, then what does? I do understand that student preformance does not, and can not give an accurate reflection of how well a teacher teachers, but it should be an indicator. There will always be some people who simply will refuse to learn things they dont want to, refuse to try hard, or are just plain stupid. But there will always be more children, hungry for knowlege, and those who can be eaily manipulated into learning, through use of rewards. For someone who thinks this is a good argument, I would only ask them, "do you have a better way to judge teacher preformance???", the job title is "teacher" if we are not going to look at how well they teach as an indicator, seriously, WHAT IS A BETTER INDICATOR?!?! sometimes you go with the best of the worst ideas, because there is no good idea.
Tenure
Arnold says teachers tenure should be after 10 years not 2... To me this is a no brainer,
maybe not 10, but certainly more than 2...
I almost find it hard believing they are getting away with this after two years right now. I personally know one teacher who is just waiting to be tenured, because then this person believes they can't be fired, and they are damn near correct.
I am a computer programmer...
After 2 years at my current job, I did not have a degree, I was one of the youngest, and most inexperienced people in my department, but I had been there longer than most, two years of work, shouldn't be a teflon work jacket. There are people who will do 2 years as charity. Just to put this out there, once a teacher is tenured, they can walk into class each day, they do not have to answer students questions, or even speak with the students, and it is explicitly stated that a teacher could not be removed based soley on poor student preformance. This is just retarded... After two years of babysitting, you are garaunteed a well respected job, where you get 4 months off a year, and every paid holiday, and you can't be fired... No wonder so many people become teachers who didn't know what they wanted to do when they got out of college.
and take the case of Juliet Ellery a San Diego-area high school teacher.
Ms. Ellery refused to answer student questions, demeaned and insulted students, and refused to adhere to lesson plans. Frustrated students circulated a petition to have her dismissed. The district then spent eight years and $300,000 trying to fire Ellery. Although her teaching credential was eventually suspended for one year, Ellery returned to teaching after the suspension. Unsurprisingly, few districts try to fire bad teachers.
According to the state Office of Administrative Hearings, in the Los Angeles Unified School District from 1990 to 1999, only 13 dismissal panels were convened and just one tenured teacher’s case went through the dismissal process from beginning to end.
so much for me playing devils advocate...
can anyone tell me why we shouldn't base teacher pay increases on student preformance, or at least what it should be based on ???, asl o can anyone tell me why giving a teacher tenure after 2 years, is better than say 5, or 10... ( and why after so many years in the california school system I still kant spell good ?!?! )
leave comments, thoughts, and death threats, on the comments page...
~grey out
Release the hounds!!!
G-G-Git-Gu-Git-G-O-P UNIT!
I aint really gots too much for you today... but everyone else posted, so I figured, "what the hell"...
***side note***: has anyone ever noticed that
"what the hell" is a good answer to nearly any question, it just depends on the inflection you say it with...
Stuff I heard
I heard that Vanna White ( or who ever the chick is on wheel of fortune ) was half blind in one eye... when I heard this my immediate reaction was "So... in a about a week a could train a monkey on crack to do her job", I mean what do you think the interview questions for that job were...?
1. are you familiar with the alphabet ?
2. if something was glowing, would you be able to tell
that wraps up that interview.
I heard that some countires Man practice tantric sex, where they do it for hours and hours, but never climax. When I heard about that my first reactions was "Yeah, I've been drunk before, I didn't know it was called tantric", after a lil more research my second reaction was "sex for hours and hours, I dont have that kind of money"
2 odd news stories Lawyer sends 17 year old pictures of himself nude... ( guy is already "convict big" )
Man is arrested for walking out on dates after dinner... WTF?!?! that doesn't seem fair, unless when you take a girl out for a nice meal, they will arrest her for not "reciprocating"...
Man fends off shark attack, and continues surfing... apparently Sharks teeth dont penetrate Giagantic Brass Balls
this picture needs a caption, I was thinking "future Darwin award contender", or Baby Norm... SNAPS!!! I guess we go with the first, baby norm, was taken...
April 20th reason to get your mom a kick ass mothers day present
well thats all I got for today...
...
no really... who let the ufcking dogs out people ???
~grey
I leave in a week...
Ok the picture to the left is only reason that I like soccer... the mascots.
WTF are baseball teams doing with 7ft tall eagles?misc. links...
-- I gotta get some Audioslave tickets...
they're playing Rage and Soundgarden songs-- Enterprising drug dealers hand out
free crack samples to potential customers
-- Unfortunately I live with 3 huge wild cats... sometimes I just want to
shoot them out of a cannon--
dick and jane... uh... naughty nursery rhymes
-- If the b.o.b. wasn't a proud and loyal citizen of P-town then
I could see him doing this... but come on dude a 300 lbs football star is a bit much
What did I hearthis past weekend?- I'm 5 ft nothing
- Grey is cuddly
- Big fat women are not ok especially when they are 5 ft nothin'
- I like frosted mini wheat's and heroin
- I'm gonna write Allison is a whore on this one
- I'm ok, get the fu@k out of my spotlight - Mayhem Miller
- Call me Gonzo!!!
- The Stranger
- The Double Stranger
- Who needs email when you can throw a message 40 ft on a zip line
- NASCAR should be like Mario Cart... with the turtle shells n' stuff
my lil sports rant...I don't know what it is now, but I just don't have the same heart for mainstream sports anymore. I was and always will be a baseball fan, as that was my favorite game when I was growing up. The strike really took a toll on me... millionaires vs. billionaires. I don't even want to talk about what the owners and GM's of our So. Cal. teams are doing. Football was ok, but not my favorite, and I had a lot of friends that were very passionate about it. Basketball was cool growing up in So. Cal. Lakers kicked ass, but I wouldn't make plans to watch games. I've been a hockey fan the last couple of years, but the lockout really hurts it's chance of becoming the nations 4th sport. Don't even get me started on NASCAR... just a reason to drink.I've liked watching the UFC. Even in the beginning when there were little rules, I watched just to see the big guy vs. the little guy. Now that I know people in the sport, and have trained with them it makes it even more exciting. You can see the guy doing the moves that you were just learning, and seeing practical application of the Mixed Martial Arts. Screw mainstream sports... my favorite now is MMA.
Spoonie Luv is a no-show here... and I don't know if we will ever see him back.
"i'm out"
norm
HAPPY 4/20
TODAY NEWSI have to post today becuase I basically created this holiday for many people. I used to ditch school on this day but a wife and three kids later I have to come to work becuase if I don't work they don't eat.
Here is tips on not to get busted cultivating. Notice the first 5 rules.
Here is a successful story of
passing a test 36 hours. What kind of test well you will have to read it won't you.
Last but definitly not least some
cookin recipes for this special day.
NORM NEWSSince what is a post without me talkin smack on Norm. I read a article how six of Norm's ex girlfriends destroyed the wild
animal park in South Korea. They would still be his ladies now but he wants to be single in Europe where he decided to exchange fat american chicks for hairy euro chicks. GO FIGURE.
SPORTS
All I got to say is
GO MO#%^KIN DODGERS. We are on fire and I don't know if my heart could handle this all season. 7 in a row a record of 11-2 best in baseball. SNAPS
On a sad note hockey playoffs would be goin down right now but owners and players are jackasses.
Here is somethin for football fans it is a list of what all the
teams needs are this offseason. Note the broncos are not listed simply for the reason that they have so many needs that nobody on the staff wanted to write an article 1,000 pages long.
Peace,
THE B.O.B
five foot nuthin...
Imagine this, two guys at a family resturaunt getting ready to eat... their waitress approaches, semi attractive albeit very short blond girl.
waitress - Oh my gosh is that one of those new sidekick phones... ( picks up phone and starts playing with it )
guy #1 - Yeah, I love the phone, but the coverage sucks, the only service worse than on my side kick is with Cingular. my friend here has cingular, that really sucks..
waitress - Yeah I have verizon, they have great coverage. ALmost everywhere I go, I always have 2 more bars than alomost anyone else, but allot of times, after a few minutes the call would drop.
guy #2 - Probably your cell phone works okay, but people just dont like talking to you...
( waitress turns and walks away )
look for my new book to be out in stores soon
Girl Repellent...
FACT A questionaire done in England shows 10% of all teenagers surf the web looking for porn, apparently the other 90% were too busy looking at porn, to take the questionaire seriously.
Easy to see why gas costs keep rising, but americans keep on driving gas powered cars... it because this is what an electric car looks like
Ruling the Earth: close, and yet so far away
cocain turns to sugar in Police custody... ( see batman cartoon ) -->
Finally a website, so ufcking borring, it makes my web site kick ASS!!!
I thought this was interesting... Girls are missing out on schooling, which is crazy, and ironic because, I think girls are smarter, and I think no school has ever made anyone smart...
Survey Question: If the new Pope is black, do you think someone will try to assasinate him ? why or why not ?
BoonDocks comics
( Well,... I guess not all guys are stupid )
News:
Security Guard prints out child pr0n at kinkos... ( I know what the guy was thinking.... I have made a grip of stuff they shouldn't let me at kinkos, no pr0n, but... in high school we used to call that place kinko's counterfiters... and they have free coffee!!! )
the U.S. miliatry assembles crack group of hackers/crackers.
well lets call that a post... B.O.B., Norm, "Tag you're it"
~grey out
( This post contains no carbs )
highlight clip...
I've been of a MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) streak with my posts.... so why will this one be any different. Here is a great link with a lot of cool KO's and Submissions.
So you want to be an Ultimate Figher? Check this out.I'll have my weekend list of quotes and ideas later on tonight... err... probably tomorrow.
"i'm out"
norm
Great UFC...
Don't cry... get broadband
Man that UFC was the 'ish. Great fights... they showed 7 of the 8 fights, and highlights of the 8th. I got 6 out of the 8... I lost on two of my upsets. Oh well... the UFC got a lot of new fans tonight with such a good card.
Here's the highlight of the night... oh yeah and it's 4:43 am... wow was that a good UFC
"i'm out"
norm
Cause it's Friday... and the UFC is tomorrow...
Wow... all kindsa thing's have gone on since I had a real post up here. This past week was pretty crappy since I have been sick most of the time. Last weekend was cool... brewfest on Saturday... where I heard and saw all kindsa stupid stuff... then over to Casa de Conrads for a party... man I hate fights... especially when the other guy gets blood all over my new shirt. Sunday just chilled and a couple of us went to go see my to go see my friend D$ at work... OK it was Hooters, but she is my friend and she was working.
-- Radio station's Drunk Bitch Friday segment cancelled to discourage alcohol abuse... in order to equal out beer sales... Norm now drinks 6 times as much
-- Virtual Bartender 2... kinda Maxim cool... but not as good as the original
-- Norm gets job delivering beer
-- Grey's cell service sucks... t-mobile has got to be the worst service... I'm going back to VerizonSome of my highlight quotes from this past weekend -- these are mostly inside jokes... so you don't need to laugh- Nani + my stupid pride = $200
- Where's the bud light?... now who would say this at a MicroBrew Festival?... must have been from the OC... but then again I blame everything on the OC
- Acid wash jeans guy... put on the good clothes son... we're goin' to Hooters (on a sad note... dude cut his mullet)
- 3ft. tall, flat head, and no teeth
The Ultimate Fighter
gets some good ratings...
the UFC is going to be great this weekend... everyone get out and watch it Following a great Ultimate Fighter season finally this past week over on SpikeTV I think that this is going to be one of the most successful UFC's ever. The fact that the two coaches from the show Chuck Liddell and Randy Couture are the main event makes it that much more watch able to the average Joe. If anyone wants to know anything, or has any questions about the UFC or Jiu-Jitsu... let me know.
-- here are my picks... Yves Edwards is the 'ish... Matrix KickSalaverry def. Riggs
Lindland def. Lutter
Sobral def. Wiuff
Doerksen def. Cote
Marsh def. Van Arsdale
Miller def. St-Pierre
Trigg def. Hughes
Liddell def. Couture
...
misc links
... RUN WITH SCISSORS
-- Yer ass
got knocked da'f out... I forgot how much I loved watching the spelling bee kid faint
-- Just another reason to not go to
church youth group... just read it... I don't want to give away the ending
-- Just because
God tells you to do something... doesn't mean you have to do it... someone's off the med's again... and
Jesus is cool cause he's partyin' with Jimi Hendrix
-- They didn't have
teachers like this when I went to school... flashing, smokin' weed, lewdness... cool
"i'm out"
norm
Whip me!, beat me!, make me a programmer...
Welcome to another round of spyder-fonix.com... Buckle your seat belt and enjoy the ride...
first things first... I updated the
extra page, and my
socket programming with C tutorial. and I am slowly, getting the rest of the page back online... stay tuned...
News: the dollar fights back ( hits Euro in the face, and sleep with it's girlfriend )
Hey guys, we're gonna give your wifes these cameras so they can see "how long you can hang" no pressure though, act normal...
Moonshining to bring down gas prices
Other Stuff:
The "best movies post" made me think of this, if you could pick any 5 actors to be the perfect cast in a movie, who would it be ??? I think I would pick, Steve Buscemi, Giovanni ribisi, Christopher Walkin, Halle Berry, and Angelina Jolie... doesn't matter what it costs, what the plot is, or even if keanu reeves had a walk on part, it would be a good movie... ( leave your 5 actors in the comments if you want )
I was listening to NPR the other day, and I heard this story about a program called "Teach for America". Here's the gist of it... it's a program for students just out of college ( pretty typically a "GOOD" college ), to go into teaching at a low incomme school for two years. Sounds like a nice idea, but consider this. These applicants typically have no desire to become teachers, they need no prior teaching experience, and there is a good chance that after the two years are complete, they will go off into another feild, not even in education. Is this really who we want teaching the kids who need help the most ?!?! Inexperienced, short term, people who aren't interested in teaching ?!?!? I agree that I typically think at least half of all teacher are, people who got out of college, and became teachers for the 3 months vacation, all the paid holidays, and/or simply a lack of knowing how to do something else ( besides sit in school ). With this being my opinion, you may wonder why I even care... Well what if your lawyer, wasn't interested in law, but was your lawyer becasue they were doing some program from their school, what if that was your doctor, and after their two years was up, they really wanted to go into marketing, aren't the children as important as your health, and our laws ??? ( leave death threats and/or comments in the comments section ) *** note to self: write rant about schools ***
well I will leave you with that... right now, Norm, me and Bob are the only ones reading this anyways...
~grey
how do you feel...
Well I feel like crap... I've been sleeping all day, and I took off early.
I'm highly medicated, and I'm going to get something to eat and go to bed.
Hopefully I'll post something of significance tomorrow.
"i'm out"
norm
Rap Lyrics - Translated
The Assignment:
The Assignment: Pick a song with little to no poetic or literary value, then translate it to proper english.
( note this has been done before ) most noteably with big poppa, and 50 cent I chose Petey Pablo, the lyrics I choose were from the song,
my goodies,
featuring Ciara.
***note***
I did not include a translation for Ciara parts.
Enjoy...
Lyrics:I got a sick reputation for handlin broads
All I need is me a few seconds or more.
And in my rap
Tell valet to bring my 'Lac
And I ain't comin back
So you can put a car right there.
Translation:It is well known that I am quite the ladies man.
when in public, it only takes mere moments to obtain the company of women
I desire with my rapping skills, only to immediately
instruct that my car be brought around, so we can leave.
Lyrics:I'm the truth
And ain't got nothin' to prove.
An you can ask anybody
Cuz they seen me do it.
Barracades, I run right through 'em
I'm used to 'em.
Translation:I am neither fictional or fantasy, and I dont feel
the need to provide evidence to back up my claims.
If polled most people would agree that they have wittnessed my prowess.
I have yet to be hindered by challenges in life, in fact
such obstacles have become second nature.
Lyrics:Throw all the dirt you want it's no use.
You still won't have a pinup in a fabulous room
On her back pickin' out baskets of fruit.
(I love you boo)
Yeah freak and Petey love you too.
Ha Ha
You know how I do..
Translation:I feel quite comfortable dealing with any slanderous, or libelous
remarks you might make about me, as I feel they will ultimately be uneffective.
You should understand that insulting me will not help you aquire
high scale living environment you desire. Nor the attractive female
companion that I have relaxing, submisively serving me fruit from a basket.
When females say they love me, I say I love them as well, but
it is clear this is just standard behavior.
Lyrics:So damn hot but so young.
Still got milk on ya tongue
Slow down lil one
And you ain't got it all
Translation:you are quite attractive, but I feel you lack physical and
emotional maturity due to your adolescent age. So please
refrain from making sexual advances at me. You would be
surprized to discover, that you do not beguile every man.
Lyrics:Hey shawty
You think you bad but you ain't bad
I'll show you what bad is.
Bad is when you capable of bein' the baddest.
I been workin' at it since I came to this planet
And I ain't quite there yet but I'm gettin' better at it.
Matter of fact,
Lemme tell it to you one mo' again
All I got to do is tell a girl who I am (Petey!)
Ain't naa chick in here dat I can't have
Bada boom bada bam ba bam!
Translation:Listen to me woman, It seems clear you believe you are of some great value, however
I feel you may have greatly over estimated your worth. In fact
you will only be worth something, once you have the ability to
become that which is all worthy. This has been my aim and goal
since my conception here on earth. And while I have not yet
acheived this goal, I do seem to be making progress.
This fact is undisputed but I will repeat my self, At the place and time
when my identity becomes clear to a female, she will desire me.
There is not a single female within a reasonable radius,
who I can not make desires me...
Bada boom bada bam ba bam!
~grey
all golf and no sleep makes norm crazy...
Ok it's... uh... 2:35am and I'm finally posting about the weekend golf.
Yes I tried to do what I have always wanted to do... drink a beer a hole for the round of golf. To begin with the B.O.B. chose a course over in P-Town that was only 9 holes, and it was a 3 par. What that means is that I was gonna have to drink quickly. I'd also like to mention that my bag was a large mesenger bag, and it was filled with New Castle. What was I thinking by bringing New Castle. I could have got some Bud Light or even one of my favs PBR, but noooooooo Norm had to go raid the NormCompound's fridge and pull what was left from last night.
Grey was commenting on my atire... well let me tell you that 80 year old guys fight dirty. I don't care if you've got jiu-jitsu skills... 80 year old guys bite and 'ish. So after I wooped up on the old guy and stole his gear it was off to the B.O.B.'s house. I was late as usual having woken from the previous nights debatchery (which I will not get into on said blog). Having only a chocolate chip muffin in me for sustanance... I was off to golf. The first hole sucked... cause you couldn't drink being that it was sooo close to the clubhouse. What does that mean... yep... double up on the second hole. Wow I was feeling good and I hadn't lost a golf ball yet. The only thing I can remember about my score was that I got a 6-6-6-6 on the first 4 holes. I know that everyone was walking just a little bit faster and playing just a little bit better than me just so that they could go onto the next hole knowing that I had to finish my beer before I tee up. After the fourth hole I could really feel the beers kicking in. It had prolly only been about 15-20 mins and I was getting ready for number 5. I think this is where I kinda went over the edge. First off I lost a ball when I smacked the hell out of it and is got suck in a palm tree. Vividly I remember watching the guys all in front of me and I had to catch up... then out of nowhere I screem... "FREEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDOOOMMMMMMMM" like Mel Gibson from Braveheart. I don't know why I actually did it, but it got some laughs and I almost got a birdie on the next hole. Holes 6 and 7 were rough. It was gettin' damn hot and I was chasing after my ball way too much. I was chasing and hitting and I didn't have enough time to relax and drink my beers. I knew that I wasn't gonna make it after I started to get to lazy to take my gear off. I'd just walk up to my ball with my bags around my arms and just hit the ball with one hand with whatever club was in my hands.
The guys totaled up their scores and I guess that the B.O.B. won. I don't know if he beat me... I don't think that they totaled my score up... actually around hole 5 they stopped asking me what I got for a score. Oh well I had a good time. Next time I'm gonna go steal golf gear from a bigger guy, and maybe It'll make a difference...... naaaaaaa.
... I'm typin' sloppy knowing i gotta get up in a lil over 2 hours.
"i'm out"
norm
weekend golfing
The story you are about to read is true, but the names have been changed to protect the innocentbrought to you by
Saturday morning I wake up and go golfing. It was
"Rob", "Rob's" Brother Mike-el,
Norm, and myself.
I think it is safe to say that we are all self motivated forward thinking young men, but none more so than Norm. He had not played Golf for a few years, but in less than a week, managed to come up golf clubs, shoes, and a manilla shorts outfit that would get his ass kicked in any area elementary school. His outfit was really only out done by the pasty whitness of his exposed lower legs, but
because I too have a programmers tan, we will let that slide for now.
In addition to being the best dressed Norm was also hauling an extra 10 lbs or so, in what resembled a male purse... Only instead of the normal lipstick, and rainbow bright perfume, this time Norm brought beer... with a personal goal of drinking a beer a hole. As we started the game you could almost hear Norms liver taunting him in a slurred scottish accent...
Norms Liver :
"aye... ya wee lass,... a beeeerr-r-r a hole, I was drinkin a beer a hole when ye were still suckin on yer muthers teet, make it a beer a swing, if ye be a real man"Norms Golf gameI dont know how, but Norm managed to hit nearly every sand trap on the course. Many of the times right off the tee, which by itself is not that impressive, but when you consider most of these shots were hit on the ground, it makes it quite the impressive feat. Rolling over 100 yards of grass to roll gently into the sand trap it was almost as if Norms golf ball was involved in some kind of
french gorrilla/sniper warefare with the hole, going in the right general direction, but never close enough to be a real threat.
as the saying goes...
"if you have never failed, then you probably weren't trying hard enough", and try as he might, Norm did not finish all nine beers. Halted at 7, the nine beers in 9 holes challenge will just have to wait for another day...
but when that day comes, I'll be there, and next time I will take a camera...
~grey
still the bestest friends when he hangs out with my friends...
Over at the B.O.B.'s house drinkin' brews. Woopin Ants azz. Talkin' about the 10 best guy movies. Prolly head over to Kellys n' then back to Mel's house to play cards.
"i'm out"
norm
me n' jerid are the bestest of friends...
April Fools Day sux...
OK... here I go... in no order
-- Any James Bond film - Come on dude... this guy was a pimp, and he killed all kindsa bad guys n' shit, and he got to carry around all kindsa cool gagets... plus he always banged the girl at the end.
-- National Lampoon's Animal House - "TOGA, TOGA, TOGA"... what a classic movie... the food fight in the lunchroom... to the speach about when the Germans bombed Perl Harbor... the classic college movie.
-- Apocalypse Now - "I love the smell of napalm in the morning"... nuff said
-- Blazing Saddles - Where should I start... "Excuse me while I whip this out"...
n... "Hey, where the white women at".... I know that this is definately a favorite of greys.
-- Rambo First Blood - Talk about kicking ass and taking names later. I remember when I was a kid and I sat down with my Dad and we watched this movie... WOW... this is so great. "They drew first blood, not me"... and... "You don't seem to want to accept the fact you're dealing with an expert in guerrilla warfare, with a man who's the best, with guns, with knives, with his bare hands. A man who's been trained to ignore pain, ignore weather, to live off the land, to eat things that would make a billy goat puke. In Vietnam his job was to dispose of enemy personnel. To kill! Period! Win by atrition. Well Rambo was the best."
-- Ocean's Eleven - The Rat Pack were, and still are, the biggest pimps in Hollywood. I bet is any of those guys were still alive today, even at 80 something, that they'd be partyin' it up in the Playboy Mansion gettin' mad tail... this movie wasn't so much about the movie as it was showing a bunch of guys having a great time hangin' out
-- Caddyshack - This movie had two really funny things going on... first it was the groundskeeper who stole the show and was funny as hell... "IT'S IN THE HOLE!!"... or... "This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff"... and the other part was filled with a great cast that just fucked around at a country club... if I had money then I'd be like Rodney Dangerfields character... oh wait I do that right now... even without the money.
-- Resevoir Dogs - OK first things last... One of the best scenes of my generation... "Listen kid, I'm not gonna bullshit you, all right? I don't give a good fuck what you know, or don't know, but I'm gonna torture you anyway, regardless. Not to get information. It's amusing, to me, to torture a cop. You can say anything you want cause I've heard it all before. All you can do is pray for a quick death, which you ain't gonna get"... where Mr. Blonde cuts that cops ear off and says... Hello uh Hello... I can go on and on about this movie... one of my personal favorites... you can't leave without talking about the coffee table scene in the diner... First off you have Quinten talking about True Blue, and how it is a metaphor for big dicks... and it ends with Mr. Pink talking abou how he doesn't tip... best 5-10 mins of the movie.
-- Fight Club - I just watche this movie like 3 days ago... there is so much about this movie and it's pretty deap... I could write about 5 pages so I won't bore you... I picked this one too cause there is a fight scene where Tyler has a guy on the ground and is blasting away throwing punches at this guys nuts like in the old UFC days where Joe San got hammered at least half a dozen time.
-- Godfather I & II - What list would be complete without a gangster movie... I picked this one over Scarface simply because I believe it was a more complex yet complete move. I know that Scarface has all kinds of quotable lines and violent scenes, but there is just something about the Godfather that makes you just want to watch it... plus Mr. Corleone never asks a second favor once he's refused the first, understood?... the horses head in that dudes bed will forever be ingrained into my skull.
"i'm out"
norm
10 best guy movies of all time...
in no particular order
Tombstone - despite a rather weak display by Kurt Russel, and an underlying love story Tombstone kicks ass!!! Val Kilmer steals the ufcking show as Doc Holiday, in fact this movie only really needs Doc holiday and Johnny Ringo. Every guy who has ever seen this movie has then proceeded to spin a sipper cup on his finger, and remark "I'm your huckle berry".
Fight club - Brad Pitt would largely be considered "gay" by the american male community if not for this movie, and( snatch ). Pitt, and Edward Norton make a great team, and they speak directly to the homicidal, viloent, soap made out of human fat, little boy inside all of us.
The usual suspects - Fenster, Hockney, McManus, Keaton, Kint, and Kaiser Sorse... One of the best mystery thrillers of all time, and one of the best surprise twist endings.
SpaceBalls - we really couldn't do a list of top guy movies without including one from Mel Brooks, it was a hard chioce, Blazing Saddles, history of the world, etc. but space balls sticks out as one of the greatest parodies of all time. You should not be considered an american male, if you can't quote at least 3 lines from space balls.
Godfather I & II - okay I know these are two seperate movies, but they share a spot on this list as what are probably the greatest mob/gangster movies ever.
Rocky - Again a series of movies take a single place on the list. Men love rocky for the same reason we love Bill Clinton, and George Bush Jr. because these guys make us feel like we too can accomplish something... I feel like George W Bush was the first guy from my reading level to make it into the white house, and americans see rocky as the first white guy with a speach impediment to beat the crap outta a big black guy. Not to mention Rocky's battle cry has become so prolific, I dont think anyone would have even noticed if Mel gibson shouted out "ADRIAN!" at the end of braveheart, rather than "FREEDOM"
Star Wars - "Luke I am your Father, your mother was into black guys with deep voices". Star wars will always be one of those groud breaking classic movies, but particularly to guys... Lasers, Swords, Billy D Williams trapped in time, yep the future is looking up. Aside from all that, it was the inspiration for Space balls, which is also on the list
Enter the Dragon ***NOTE: this movie is only cool if you were born between the years of 1973 and 1982 *** Take everything that made the 80's cool. Karate, break dancing, meaningful rap music, and terrible fashion... mix all that ishh up, and put them into a movie with a really bad story line, and BAM!!! Enter the dragon, Bruce Leroy Vs ShowGUN... "whos the master", and "kiss my converse"
Resevior Dogs - ( nuff said )
Swingers - Vince Vaughn... you're money, you're like so maney, you're like a bear with big ufckin claws thinkin I dont know how to catch a rabbit with these big claws...
Scarface - Say hello to my lil frien'
so what do you think, did I leave any out ???
~grey
