mmmm beer...
Top 10 Ways to Make Beer Better[Reprinted completely without permission from MAXIM Online.]
We're not asking you to wear a bowtie and spats to the office or close your eyes when you kiss a woman, but for chrissake show a little class when drinking your beer. Here are 10 simple ways to dress up a brewski for the ball, or a six-pack for a Senatorial hearing. Maxim Online, Nov 2006
By Jonathan Stern
1.
WeddingBlack Velvet The most common complaint at weddings is that the bride looks like a whore. (Everyone thinks you're auditioning for a goddamn Kabuki theater.) The second most common complaint is the lack of top-shelf booze. Turn a glass of cheap champagne into a champleasure by adding half a glass of your favorite stout to half a glass of bubbly.
2.
BreakfastCaribbean NightSure a pint of Guinness has the right color and consistency to be sold at Dunkin' Donuts, but it just doesn't kick like coffee. Try adding half a shot of Kahlua to your brew for a glass of beer that Juan Valdez would be proud of. (Lord knows that donkey has been disappointing him.)
3.
BrunchBeer Bloody Mary
You're so close to that hour when your beer drinking goes from "problem" to "party," but what if you can't wait until noon? In a tall glass, mix half a can of lager with half a glass of tomato juice (or possibly some Clamato, for the connoisseur). Add a dash of Worcestershire and Tabasco sauce, and don't skip the celery—it's nature's broom.
4.
Brunch (in Oaxaca) MicheladaIt's kind of like a Bloody Mary, but with a dash of Montezuma's Revenge to spice things up. Fill a tall glass with ice, squeeze in the juice of a whole lemon (watch out for seeds), and add a few dashes of the following: soy sauce, Worcestershire, Tabasco (which coincidently owns 78 percent of Mexico), salt and pepper. Also, feel free to add tequila. We said feel free!
5.
At the TheaterDiesel Shandy
Cola and beer is big in Japan. Not as big as tentacle porn, but still…. Before you rule out the idea of ever mixing soda and suds, just know that other parts of the world love it. Germany has their Colaweizen, the UK has a Bass-produced shandy, and in the States it's known as the "AMC Movie Helper Combo."
6.
Medical Conference Flaming Dr. Pepper
Everyone knows that Dr. Pepper wasn't a real doctor, but neither is Dr. J, Dr. Phil, or Dr. Octopus. That doesn't mean he doesn't have the prescription for the daily blues. Combine 4 cc's (about ¾ of a shot glass) of Amaretto and top it off with Bacardi 151. Light it on fire and drop it into a waiting glass of beer.
7.
CampingSnakebiteSnakes. We hate snakes. Also wasps. Very dangerous. But in this rare exception, you'll actually want to suck the poison out. Take a nice stout (Beamish and Guinness work well) and a nicer hard cider (try Strongbow), and mix them 50/50 for a great outdoor cocktail. And if you're actually bit by a snake, don't forget to point out the irony.
8.
KGB ReunionYorshAh vodka…the reason why we've always gotten along so well with our former Soviet comrade. Of course the Russians would have a recipe for vodka and beer. And, that's pretty much it. In a fit of inspiration, a Russian—let's say, man—poured vodka into beer. Maybe it was the other way around. Either way, it's best served cold. Like a paranoid war of nuclear brinkmanship.
9.
Tour de FranceRadlerLegend has it that in 1922 Munich chemist/bartender Franz Xaver Kugler ran out of beer serving thousands of cyclists, so he started combining lemonade with the lager. While not as tasty or famous as the Arnold Palmer (iced tea, you are lemon's true compliment), the Radler is still drunk in Germany and Austria as a summer thirst quencher (and a terrific buzz-getter).
10.
Late Night BoilermakerWhen it's too late to stay at the bar, but too early to go home; make it a boilermaker (a shot of whisky and a beer). While technically not a beer cocktail, the boilermaker is more like beer's best buddy. It's the friend who's always up for a good time…whether it be a pool hall, strip club, or just dynamiting something. Instructions: Drink whisky. Chase with beer. Find ATM.
I'm from Chino and PROUD OF IT!"i'm out"
norm
2006 year in review - as a poem
in january hamas got elected,
which left the U.S. very dejected..
then in febuary the muslim world went insane...
all over cartoons, that were drawn by the Danes
my birthday is in march, thats a matter of fact
and congress renewed the patriot act.
in april it rains, and the roads get all slick
and scooter libby ratted out Dick
In may they declared peace in darfur
cause it's really not cool to kill blacks any more
june almost came a little too fast
And Hamas started back up the Isreal blasts
after june comes july, when students can rest
and North Korea starts up their missile tests
in august Pluto became "not a planet"
and that freakin wierd, I just dont understand it
September came, and Tony Blaire called it quits
the next month spinach was infested with Shit
round to November, the month we're in now
and Rumsfeld resigns, like the war's over now...
so what will come in december ???
I cant really say
but as long as there is christmas
I dont care anyway...
I love the internet...
Here are some great videos...
Scarlett Johansson is not promiscuous, Well, maybe she is a little when she's, like, single and "dating." But right now she's in a relationship, so she's totally not "sexually available," OK?
- This is the reason why I hate The Ultimate Fighter tv show over on SpikeTV... everyone thinks that they can now fight... my money's on the black guy... or this guy who is the real Ultimate Fighter
- DAMN... now that's a kick
- Star Wars Gangsta Rap
- David Blaine Street Magic Spoof
- TheBirdman... this dude basejumps with wings... crazy too see how far he goes... another Birdman clip
- 10 minutes of sick basejumps... oh yeah
- Everyone needs to check out the Indian version of Michael Jackson's Thriller... hahahahahaa... I miss Yash
I'm from Chino and PROUD OF IT!"i'm out"
norm
Rough Draft...
Recently I have heard talk about how ( to quote my older brother ) in the U.S. army we only send "poor uneducated brown people" to get killed over seas in war... And even about how if we re-instated the draft then politicians children would have to go over seas, and they would care more, and not wage war... Not even 48 hours had passed after that conversation with my brother, when Zack, one of my good friends, who I respect dearly said something to the same effect, in response to an email criticizing John Kerry...
so Now for your enjoyment.. I will repost much of that email thread... and await your comments...
Email Thread About the Poor Bown SoldiersThis first email ( the one that started this ) is from my good friend Linda...
From: Linda Luna
To: ...
Subject: Support our Troops!
---
“You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.” ~Congressman John Kerry
“Congressmen who willfully take actions during wartime that damage morale and undermine the military are saboteurs and should be arrested, exiled, or hanged” ~President Abraham Lincoln
Our soldiers are awesome people that are fighting for our freedoms and deserve our respect. Despite the media's rants to the contrary, our military is also accomplishing great things:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3V7bE_M_Jk&eurl
which prompted this email from my good friend Zack...
From: Zachary Scott
To: ...
Subject: Re: Support our Troops!
---
I agree, let us give those fighting for us our full respect. Our leaders need to be careful about what they say in public.
Yet I think that this attack on Kerry (who I usually would not defend) is blown up for the purpose of getting people mad at Kerry, and not because what he said has no truth to it.
The reality is that many youth in the US, who did not seriously pursue education, look to low ranking military positions as their best option when they finish school. There are many people who have good educations and options that still choose to serve in the military, but I think we must concede that many choose the option as the best of several undesirable options. Most people will not willfully put themselves in harms way, especially without strong patriotic/nationalistic notions. Whether or not Kerry meant any disrespect to those in the service, I have no idea, but we must acknowledge that most of us don't want to intentionally put ourselves in harms way.
From: Linda
To: Zack, ...
---
Zack,
To quote you... "The reality is that many youth in the US,
who did not seriously pursue education, look to low
ranking military positions as their best option when
they finish school."
Would being a firefighter, policeman, etc. be considered a
low ranking position?? They put themselves in arms way
without having to have a college education. All of the above
jobs, including the military, have tests that many people can't
even pass.
It's sad to see how far removed our country has become
from honoring our soldiers. Do you all realize how many
countries would love to destroy us? And yet Senator Kerry
is calling the protectors of our U.S.A. dumb. I think it's
horrible whether it was a botched joke or not.
Then I responded with
From: grey
To: ...
Subject: Re: Support our Troops!
---
I too am like Zack, in that I would typically not defend Kerry. but I would like to point out that Kerry said he mis-spoke, and left out the word "us"...
allegedly, what he meant to say was...
“You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don’t, you get us stuck in Iraq.”
~Congressman John Kerry
which seems reasonable, plausible, and highly likely...
so yeah, I think this is kinda overblown.. I mis-speak every now and then too...
ALL OF THAT BEING SAID...
vote republican.... they are a far more entertaining government....
"It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried."
~Sir Winston Churchill
And Monica Said...
From: Monica
To: ...
Subject: Re: Support our Troops!
---
Slippery Slope (in my opinion...) and truly the war and all the intricacies of said war has divided our country (SADNESS!!!!). I remember the first time around it was said or implied: if you don't support the war, you're UnAmerican --> to other assumptions including --> you MUST be in support of terrorists. How can one or many make such an assumption? America is made up of a diverse foundation with many points of view... what about Buddhists who tend to be peace-loving? What has God/Jesus taught?
Besides all this... how many times has Bush flubbed up a sentence or an entire speech?
My hubby served too.... 6 years, Marines... and we have our own opinions, but you can't dissect one person based on one sentence - what message does that send to those we want to influence?
Sad... but the least WE can DO is go VOTE! Exercise your right and use YOUR mind (not just what the media fills it with).
hugs, moni.
From: grey
To: ...
Subject: Re: Support our Troops!
---
Hey guys,
Oddly enough, I was at my brother house recently, and he was talking about something similar...
how poor uneducated people basically have no choice but to join the army...
I think that is incredibly false...
there are poor uneducated people in nearly every corner of our society, picking our fruit, selling us drugs, making our beds, driving our wares from state to state, and even occasionally getting their own 15 minutes of fame ( Kato Kalin you bastard )
I like the fact that our military is 100% volunteer...
I also think that there are countless options for people, because we live in america... I mean think about it... you could be homeless, never have a job, never pay taxes, drink your ass off, and there are churches all over this country that will take you in, give you a place to sleep, and food to eat...
I think when you tell people they are dumb, and they will never amount to anything, or even if you dont tell them that, but you are prejudice enough to think it, just because their education and social status, then it is you who are sending those people to the front line... I mean, if society tells you that you can't make anything of your self, why not be cannon fodder...???
but to those people who believe that there is always hope, and that hard work does always pay off... you my friend represent the truest of american beliefs... The fact that we can take our poorest most underprivledged citizens, and turn them into the greatest fighting force in the world, should illustrate to you, that your beloved education you hold so dear, is not gonna stop tanks and bullets...
watching G.I. Joe as a lil kid taught me that knowing is half the battle... But the other half is kicking the shit out of cobras ass...
that is what our millitary does, they do it better than anyone else, and they volenteer to do it...
they may be uneducated, or they may be scholars, they may be poor, or they might give up a multimillion dollar NFL career to serve... but none of that matters... they deserve our resounding respect...
And I dont know about the people you respect, but anyone who gets a gun as part of their job, is pretty damn high ranking to me....
Matt
From: Monica
To: ...
Subject: Re: Support our Troops!
---
I still think that the media and our 24/7 news channels are the reason why people are swayed the way they are.... you can't take anything at face value no matter what the medium/channel/conglomerate.
Unfortunately, that is what many in this country do... perhaps, including your brother (again, I say, perhaps).
Either way.... a split country in whatever issue is shown evidently across the globe. Americans are caught in our bubble and dissecting peoples' sentences (among other things). So then what??? It'll be interesting to see where we're at in 10 years, heck even in 2. I try to vote for quality of life.... for EVERYONE, especially the masses. Screw the media and politicians, they all have an agenda: republicrats/demublicans. I vote based on quality of life and will do so today...
=), moni.
From: Zack
To: ...
Subject: Re: Support our Troops!
---
I agree with both of you.
Yes, America is a land where we have alot of choice, and these days, nobody is forced to fight. It may be a good option for some, and open up more opportunity for them, but yes, we have plenty of choices.
Yes, you can't take any information presented at face value, becaues everyone has an agenda. Although the propaganda producing/ratings loving media can be criticized for being eccentric, on the bright side at least, it helps us situatate where we might stand in between. Moderate opionions, while useful for governing society, do not get the ratings produced by inflammatory remarks. I think we can expect that the media will always behave in a polarized way, because it is profit driven, dependent on ratings/ satisfying certain demographics. Oh well.
From: Linda
To: grey
Subject: Re: Support our Troops!
---
thanks matt.
too true. especially the part about GI Joe. : )
what do you think...?
~grey out
Election Results...
COUNTY ELECTION RESULTS
REGISTRATION & TURNOUT
751652 Registered Voters
| | VOTES | PERCENT |
Precinct Turnout
Absentee Turnout
TURNOUT | 194154
82300
276454 | 25.83%
10.95%
36.78% |
Chino City Council - Won... Next time someone's gotta run, so we can have a party. It was cool with the free drinks and all, but there needs to be food and a party next time. Oh well... 2 more years.
Chino Valley Independent Fire District - James Espinosa, Tina Revane, and David Voigt - Lost, Won, Lost... too bad Voigt lost. He's a lil military crazy, but we need less Fire people on the Board.
Chino Valley Unified School District - Dave Black & Sylvia Orozco - Lost & Won... I'll take Klein over Pruitt any day of the week.a
IEUA Division 3 Board of Directors - John Anderson - Won... good win for John...
Governor - ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER - Won... this one was a lay-up
Lieutenant Governor - JOHN GARAMENDI - Lost... guess they wanted a Republican Lieutenant to go with Arnold
Secretary of State - BRUCE MC PHERSON - Won... I've heard a lot of good things from McPherson
Controller - JOHN CHIANG - Lost... damn... I really wanted this one
Treasurer - BILL LOCKYER - Won... another solid choice.
Attorney General - JERRY BROWN - Won... Brown is a career politician, but he gets the job done.
Insurance Commissioner - STEVE POIZNER - Won... Thank you sooo much for wooping up on Bustamante.
UNITED STATES SENATOR - MICHAEL S. METTI - Lost... but hey he got 4408 votes, and I don't like Feinstein
COUNTY OF SAN BERNARDINO Assessor - DONALD E. WILLIAMSON - Lost... I wish everyone knew politics and didn't vote for Postmus.
CITY OF CHINO HILLS Member of the City Council - ED GRAHAM, BILL KRUGER, & PETER ROGERS - Won, Won, Won... Solid group of guys, so hopefully it will make the neighbors just a lil bit more bearable.
1A - YES - Won
1B - YES - Won
1C - NO - Lost
1D - NO - Lost
1E - NO - Lost
83 - NO - Lost
84 - NO - Won
85 - NO - Lost
86 - NO - Won
87 - NO - Won
88 - NO - Won
89 - NO - Won
90 - NO - Lost
I'm from Chino and PROUD OF IT!"i'm out"
norm
Election Time...
Ahhhh... another election day is finally here. They were sooo much funner when I was involved. Here is a quick recap of what I think is the best for the Chino Valley.
Chino City Council - Nobody... Earl and Eunice are running unopposed, so there names don't even appear on the ballot... saved the city quite a few grand for not having that election. Good choice too... The whole city is working together and is very successful right now... no need to change anything.
Chino Valley Independent Fire District - James Espinosa, Tina Revane, and David Voigt... on another note **Winn Williams** DO NOT VOTE FOR this guy... long story short this guys weaksauce.
Chino Valley Unified School District - Dave Black & Sylvia Orozco... I'm friends with Sylvia, and I would highly endorse indorse (for Mrs. Spelling) her... Dave is the better of all the other candidates and again **Bill Klein & John Pruitt** DO NOT VOTE FOR these guys... they are just a bunch of good ol' boys that want to get there way and I think they're weaksauce too.
IEUA Division 3 Board of Directors - John Anderson... he's a long time Chino native who was a farmer and knows the area. Some other people are trying to throw some weight around and get him booted, but John has been doing a great job as Director... NOW HIRE MY ASS OVER THERE
Governor - ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER... I can't say that the state has been any worse since he got in. Plus... he's the Terminator!!
Lieutenant Governor - JOHN GARAMENDI
Secretary of State - BRUCE MC PHERSON
Controller - JOHN CHIANG
Treasurer - BILL LOCKYER
Attorney General - JERRY BROWN
Insurance Commissioner - STEVE POIZNER
UNITED STATES SENATOR - MICHAEL S. METTI
COUNTY OF SAN BERNARDINO Assessor - DONALD E. WILLIAMSON **Postmus** DO NOT VOTE FOR Postmus... there are sooo many reasons why he is bad, and he is super weaksauce... please vote for WILLIAMSON
CITY OF CHINO HILLS Member of the City Council - ED GRAHAM, BILL KRUGER, & PETER ROGERS... I don't live in the city of Chino Hills (thank god), but anyone who is out there... vote for these guys.
1A - YES.. Everyone who knows me knows that I hate traffic and the infrastructure and highways in So. Cal. need upgrading.
1B - YES... Again I'm saying yes only because of the traffic and air... I think all the port security and other thow-in's may be a bit too much.
1C - NO... This one creates bureaucracy and won't make any housing affordable here in Cali
1D - NO... Good thought... but most schools can't qualify for the money, and it's toooo much money that we can't afford
1E - NO... I've seen it raid, but we got that make believe dude Noah to help us when there's a flood, and local agencies should worry about water quality not the state.
83 - NO... This is one of the worst propositions on the ballot. It almost seems like people make up these propositions so it can make them look good, but if you actually look at it... it's crap. It will cost the taxpayers millions and millions for an unjust system that needs the adjusting. Chino's CIM is at 2 1/2 times it's intended capacity... do we need more prisoners... I think that there are better answers out there.
84 - NO... This "water and flood control bond" has nothing in it about any dams or water storage... wtf??
85 - NO... Ouch... I don't want to get Grey on a rant here... I'll just say that more government is not always a good thing. There are other answers to this problem, and it's not in a government proposition.
86 - NO... I really wanted to say yes, but I couldn't... this is going to create a mess of a system, and we don't know where the money is going to be spent.
87 - NO... Another proposition that is worthless. They say that they are taxing the oil, but who is going to end up paying for it in the end... taxpayers not the oil companies.
88 - NO... This is just a new kind of property tax that creates more bureaucracy... plus 95% of the schools could not receive money from this tax.
89 - NO... Very complicated and not workable... this was written by the special interest groups... for the special interest groups
90 - NO... This is an anti-taxpayer/anti-homeowner proposition that is very deceptive and would cost taxpayers tons of money.
** weakesauce means he's a dick
I'm from Chino and PROUD OF IT!"i'm out"
norm
Guess who's back....
So tomorrow is Election day...
so I thought I would give my opinion about some of the propositions and what I think will happen after the election. First off lets take a look at the propositions here in California.
Propostions Proposition 83 - Sex Offenders. Sexually Violent Predators. Punishment, Residence Restrictions and Monitoring. Initiative Statute.
If I was voting, I would probably vote NO on this prop. And it is not because I am catholic and I like sexual offenders, but rather, because I think this is a super expensive solution, that doesn't really solve the problem. On top of that, I think once someone has served there time (i.e. their debt to society ) they shouldn't be treated like a criminal any longer...
if you dissagree, then I think you should keep them in jail longer, and or build more jails... where's that proposition on the ballot...?!?!?
Proposition 84 - Water Quality, Safety and Supply. Flood Control. Natural Resource Protection. Park Improvements. Bonds. Initiative Statute.
Okay, to be honest I didn't really read through this one, but I would vote YES, cause I like clean water
Proposition 85 - Waiting Period and Parental Notification Before Termination of Minor's Pregnancy. Initiative Constitutional Amendment.
If I were voting I would vote, YES... no.. I would vote HELL YES, on this propostion. because I think abortion is just wrong, and I dont think teenage girls are mature enough to make this descision on their own, and if they do, I want them to have to tell their parents. As for those of you who are concerned with the girl who might have abusive parents, and so you think you should vote NO, I would say you should be ashamed of your self for wanting to kill a baby, then send a young girl back to abusive parents... If this law was passed, we find more abusive parents, and we could better protect the girl
Proposition 86 - Tax on Cigarettes. Initiative Constitutional Amendment and Statute.
Uhhhh.. why not...??? I'd vote YES
Proposition 87 - Alternative Energy. Research, Production, Incentives. Tax on California Oil. Initiative Constitutional Amendment and Statute.
I'd prolly vote no on this one because it would make california more dependant on foreing oil
( okay.. at this point, I decided I am not voting, and so the rest of the props dont really matter.... to me )
now on to...
What I think will happen after the Election
Well... I think the democrats will take over one, or both houses of congress. Then I think the next two years will be spent investigating the Bush whitehouse, actions and policies, nothing will really get done, and as a backlash, the american people will elect a republican president...
And the green grass grew all around all around, and the green grass grew all around...
Also I want to point this out to people who think I should vote...
lets say there were always 3 choices on every ballot...
1. Choice 1
2. Choice 2
and
3. Choose one candidate Randomly for me.
and lets take that a step further, and say for every eligable voter who doesn't vote, we cast a vote for "Choose randomly for me"... if that scenario played out... Every president ever in history, except George Washinton, would have been selected randomly...
And I defy anyone to prove that would have produced a less effective government than the one we have now...
~grey out
5 beers...
Bob asked if I had to list my 5 favorite beers... what would they be?
... so I came up with this quick list... n' here it is...
-- Guinness Draught
-- Samuel Adams Oktoberfest
-- Spaten Oktoberfest
-- Murphy’s Irish Stout
-- Heineken
I'm from Chino and PROUD OF IT!"i'm out"
norm
